Six things I don't do

Unlike nearly every other copywriter and marketing/writing agency on the planet, I am very happy to let you know that there are some things I don’t offer and can’t provide. They are:

1) Bamboozle you with insider marketing terms and lingo

Seriously, who does that? (Duh, like only every other copywriter and marketing/advertising agency on the planet.) I’ll always speak to you in normal, everyday language. Because that’s how normal people talk and communicate with one another.

2) Write anything without a clear idea of the results you want

Clarity gives power. The more I know about what you want to achieve from the content you ask me to write, the more effective I’ll be able to make it. That’s why I won’t start writing anything until I know exactly what you want to achieve as a result of my work.

3) Sell you on services that won’t help you

Instead of trying to squeeze every last penny out of you, or sell you one hiring me when I’m not the best fit, I’d rather help you by doing things that will actually help your business. What a concept eh?

4) Guarantee to get your business website to page 1 of Google

I could tell you that I’m a SEO genius and know how to “cheat” Google’s algorithms. After all, everyone else seems to say that. But I believe in being honest and marketing ethically (gasp!). Which is why I write useful, interesting and engaging content. The type of content search engines love, because it actually provides the information that people are looking for.

5) Write mediocre, ineffective content

No sane person would choose to pay excessively for ‘average’ content. And I don’t think you should, which is why I don’t write mediocre content. And because I’m not playing the silly marketing agency game of ‘Who’s Spending More Money to Look Successful?’, I don’t need to charge you extortionate fees to pay for a swanky glass office.

6) Place perfect grammar above getting better results

While I love grammar and punctuation, I love getting results for people more. And if I ever have to choose between ‘perfect’ English or better engagement and persuasion of your clients (i.e. better results for you), I won’t think twice about butchering an obscure rule of grammar.

Mike is a direct-response copywriter in Bristol, UK.

With a BSc (Hons) from the University of Wales College of Medicine, Mike has worked in the NHS, for a FTSE 100 pharmaceutical company, and as a magician for 10 years (yes, really!). He has previously been featured in The Sunday Times.

When not writing for his clients, Mike enjoys spending time with his family, raising money for CLIC Sargent and taking part in CrossFit and ultramarathons.

"Everyone is selling!" But is anybody BUYING?


Six things I do